Mission: What the Hell am I Doing
by KRay Cullen
Summary: *EPOV VERSION OF MISSION:SAVE MY MARRIAGE* See what the marriage issues are like for Edward. ExB Smut. Rated M for a reason.
1. Operation: Self Loving

**A/N: So after rereading all of the wonderful comments on Mission Save My Marriage I decided that there was no harm in writing an EPOV version, right? I mean what is it honestly going to hurt? LOL! **

**So here is the very first chapter that was posted at the end of MSMM. If you haven't read Mission: Save My Marriage stop now and go read it first as this is an alternate view of that story. There will be things-important things-in the main story that will be left out here. And there will be new things here that were never mentioned from BPOV obviously. So go read the first one and then start on this :)**

**Now, let's see…Steph owns them all. I just like to play with them like little puppets. Yes, Edward is a massive self loather in this one…it will change in a few chapters though so no worries.**

**Ok, I think that's it…here we go :D**

EPOV

I pulled into the garage and ran a hand through my hair as I stared at the door that would lead into the kitchen where I knew Bella would be. She was more than likely slaving nervously over dinner to make sure that whatever she gave me tonight was enough to suffice. Enough to avoid a fight.

My marriage…it was falling and quickly. It was slipping through the palms of my hands and washing down the drain. Something needed to be down and quick. Jasper-my brother-suggested on multiple occasions that we see a sex doctor. Bella has tried her hardest to get us into marriage counseling but I be damned if some shrink or some perv sex doctor was going to tell me what I was doing wrong in my marriage. I knew the answer to that without having to pay five hundred dollars an hour for some counselor to tell me. I was a shitty husband. I was never there for my wife when I needed to be. I shut her out of my life. I am not open with her. I _am_ a shitty husband. I get that. I don't know how to fix that. I could ask Bella but that would mean that I would have to confess to her that I am a shitty husband and I am proud enough to admit that would hurt my pride.

With a frustrated sigh, I turned the car off and grabbed my brief case before walking towards the door. I hit the garage door button and heard it sliding home as I shoved through the house door. I sat my brief case down and started to slide my jacket off when I caught the most delicious smell. I hummed…beef stroganoff. Was someone here? Perhaps Charlie was visiting; he enjoyed that meal as much as I did.

"Bella." I called and walked around the corner to see her standing at the table formally like she was the hired help.

I saw candles on the table and our plates sitting on the opposite ends of the table, and then I saw her. My eyes quickly caressed her body in that tight black dress and those heels. Those damn heels. I felt myself spring to life down south and I had to turn away for a moment. I went around the corner into the living room and slid my jacket and tie off. When I came back around the corner I saw Bella picking up her plate looking defeated.

"What are you doing?" I asked and studied her hand on the plate.

She sat it back down and blinked at me blankly, not meeting my eyes. How shitty of a husband am I that my own wife won't look me in the eye? I swallowed hard and fought back my guilt as she stumbled over her words trying to make an excuse. Finally she shook her head and said, "Nothing."

"I made beef stroganoff." She announced and motioned for me to sit down.

"I smelled it when I came in." I answered and sat in front of my plate looking at the plate full of good food. Where had this all come from? She had wanted to fix nothing but Stouffer's frozen dinners for the past couple of weeks. But I don't blame her…I am surprised she hasn't wanted to poison my food yet. Hmm…maybe tonight was the night for a side of arsenic. Bella asked if I needed anything and when I replied, asking for the salt even I could hear the quick clipped tone of my voice. She sighed and walked quickly to and from the kitchen returning with the salt and pepper. I said nothing as she sat it down in front of me. I should have at least thanked her. We ate in silence and I could feel Bella's eyes on me as I ate but I couldn't look up. I didn't want to see the hurt in her eyes that I always see there. It's my own fault. I just wish I could fix it without psychiatric help. I am surprised she has put up with me this long. I wondered if this was coming to an end. Is that why she has fixed this nice meal? The last time she worked this hard on something she had wanted to invite Emmett and his wife Rosalie over for the weekend. Of course, I don't know why I should expect anything more than what I get. I don't deserve that much from her.

"How was work?" She questioned.

"Fine." I muttered and felt an ounce of panic seep in. What if this is the end? What if this is her way of telling me she wants a divorce? What if this is our last night together? My heart ached at the thought and I swallowed down the lump of emotion in my throat.

I loved her. God I loved her so much. I hardly ever show it but sometimes I just don't know how. It's not like I have a horrible life story of never being shown love from a mother who didn't care or a father that beat me. I came from a very loving family and I should be able to show my affection without so many problems in doing so. If she did want a divorce it would all be my fault and I swear I would fight for her. At least I would like to think so. But I would be standing in the way of her happiness. She deserves to be happy. She deserves so much more than what I give her. Maybe it would be best to let her go. I would never be complete without her but if it were for her best interest…

"This is new." I found myself saying as I eyed my plate. I just had to find out the truth.

She chewed on her lip as she weakly said, "I just wanted to do something special."

Shit. This can't be good. "Why?" I asked anxiously and looked up at her nose. I couldn't look into those eyes and be shredded a little more inside. Because I knew that when I looked into those deep brown eyes they would tell me the truth. They would tell me what I feared the most. She was leaving.

"Can't I just make a nice meal for you?" She was getting defensive now.

"I suppose. Normally you want something when you do this sort of thing." I said and immediately regretted my bitter tone.

I could almost feel her anger floating towards the table. She looked down to her plate and mumbled, "I don't want anything."

Did that mean she didn't want a divorce? "Good." I sighed in relief and picked up my wine glass to take a sip. I was starting to get real worried. This was it. I would dump my ass too if I were her. I would leave me high and dry. She has done so much and I have done nothing for her in return.

We have grown apart so much in last few months. We hardly ever speak anymore unless it's this occasional small talk across the table. She lets me know if she is going out of town to her father's. I let her know if I am going to be home late…every once and awhile. We don't make love in anymore. The last time I got any was my birthday in June. It is currently August, the end of August. She doesn't look at me in the eye and I never look into her eyes because I don't want to see the hurt there that _I_ have caused. We used to be so in love. I still love her but I haven't told her that in a long time. I chanced a look across the table and saw her jaw set tightly, her eyes were glazed over with unshed tears and I know that I am the one who put them there. It's my fault. If she wants this, I will give it to her. I pushed my empty plate away from me and grabbed my wine glass to chug down what was left. When I sat it down I took a deep breath and prepared myself.

I looked into her eyes and just accepted the hurt that I saw reflecting back at me. "You can have the house, Bella. I will give it up without a fuss. We don't have kids to worry about child support or anything to that degree. So I will let you keep the house and the car that I bought you."

I could definitely see the hurt now but I just stared at it anyway. I deserved the way she was looking at me. She blinked in confusion and then I could see something else register in her face. "Excuse me?"

I crossed my fingers and felt my heart beat out of my chest. I had to just get all of this out in the open. Say what I needed to say and move on. I would let her cuss me and tell me what she thought of me later. I would deserve it. "Well isn't this what you are getting to? This whole nice dinner…fixing my favorite meal, wearing that dress, lighting candles. Aren't you just buttering me up before you drop the bomb and tell me you want a divorce?" Ok…I could have been a bit more polite about that.

I saw her eyes glaze over once more and she frowned. "No Edward, it's not."

Oh. Thank God.

"Then why did you do it?" I asked softly. There had to be some reason.

She huffed and said slowly, "Because I wanted to do something nice for you." She picked up her wine glass and held it still before mumbling, "I wanted to make my husband happy for once."

I felt like shit just from two words. _For once…_she said it as if she has never made me happy._ Well the way you treat her shit head…_ I had no one to blame but myself. I wish I did more. I wish that she could understand half of the crap that went on inside of my head. Bella shoved away from the table and cleared our plates. When she came back she asked if I would like some more wine and all I could do was simply nod. I want to fix this; I want things to be normal with her again. I want to be able to tell her I love her every moment of my day and I want her to believe it.

When our glasses were full again she sat down across the table from me and from her walk from my side to her seat I realized I had to do something. I had to start showing her I cared. I watched her sit down and gulp some of her wine down.

"How was your day?" I blurted unexpectedly.

"It was uh…it was fine." She stuttered out as if she were in shock that I was speaking to her in a calm manner.

I nodded and sipped from my glass. "The dinner was good. Thank you." Compliments…that's a good start…right?

"You're welcome." She said quickly as if afraid I would take it back.

I felt even worse than when I pulled into the garage. I needed time to think. I needed to sort out my thoughts. I stood up from the table and took my wine glass, heading for my office. On my way I asked, "Would you mind to leave some for me to take to work tomorrow?"

"No," I could hear her smile. "I'd love to."

I tried to grin slightly towards her but I just needed to get away and think. I moved quickly into my office and shut the door behind me. Moving over to my desk I fell down into my chair and ran an exhausted hand across my face. What have I done? What have I done with my life and my marriage? Three years ago I married the most amazing woman and I am letting her fall right out of my hands. I have to do something. I have to find a way to fix what I have done and make it right again. I sat my wine glass down and fired up the desk top to do what I always do when I am in here.

As I waited for the screen to boot up I stared at the picture of me and Bella on our wedding day that was sitting beside of my computer. She looked so lovely, dressed all in white and a smile on her face that held some sort of secret. She was so beautiful and her brown eyes were full of light and life and I wouldn't dare move my eyes from her that entire day. I was always afraid she would disappear and I would wake up from this dream. Even in the picture I was only looking at her. She was the love of my life…my reason for living. I couldn't let her out of my life. My computer screen glowed brightly in front of me so I put all of my undivided attention on it. Immediately searching through my documents and into my pictures, I clicked on the file that was labeled Bella.

Opening picture after picture of my beautiful wife. I looked at pictures from our past. I looked at our wedding pictures. I looked at our pictures from our senior trip, spring break, college, our honeymoon, and so much more. Before I realized it I had clicked on another file of pictures we also took on our honeymoon. I had forgotten about them and typed in the password, _my Isabella._ When the file was unlocked I gasped loudly at the image that popped up in front of me. Bella…touching herself. On our honeymoon we decided to take pictures of everything, and I do mean everything. We didn't want to forget a moment…especially this moment pictured in front of me. Our first time as a married couple. I swallowed hard and felt my heart beat nearly out of my chest as I clicked through the pictures slowly. I could feel the reaction in my dress slacks and I knew that it was a problem that would have to be solved. There was a video as well and before I got half way through it I was unzipping my pants and sliding my cock out.

I winced as the rough material scraped the head of my sensitive dick. Wrapping my hand around my throbbing member I watched intently as we moved together in a rhythm of our own. She was gorgeous and radiant with her long mahogany hair draped across the pillow and her mouth touching my ear. I hummed lightly as I continued to stroke my head up and down. I remembered her words that night as we made love. She was whispering into my ear over and over, _I love you Edward…I am yours now. I love you. _

I twitched against my palm and groaned lightly as my orgasm swept through me. A few seconds later I was planting my head to the desk and trying to calm my breathing. After visiting the bathroom that was attached to my office I shut the computer off and headed upstairs.

Bella was crawling into bed and pulling the covers up over her neck. Even in her t-shirt and shorts she looked so beautiful and my heart longed for her. I replayed what I had just seen downstairs in my head and felt my cock hardening again.

"You're up earlier than usual." She commented and lay down in the bed.

I began to unbutton my shirt as I replied, "Just really tired." _And I wanted to be next to you._

She said nothing as she moved under the covers and turned her back to me. I changed quickly and flipped the lights off before sliding into bed. I set my alarm clock and settled against my pillow while I stared at the back of her head.

"Goodnight Bella." I said softly, almost in a whisper.

She was silent for a minute before responding, "Goodnight."

I chewed on my lip and swallowed hard as I stared at her. After a few minutes I said, "I love you."

She sighed softly and said, "I know Edward."

I grinned and rolled over with my back facing her as I drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: So what do you think of Edward's self loving while looking at homemade porn! Who doesn't love that shit? I mean honestly. **

**Ok so drop me a review and let me know what you think. I will try my hardest to post the next chapter by at least this time next week :):):):)**

**Thanks to my awesome readers! You all complete me :D**

***KRay***


	2. Operation: Sex Therapist

**A/N: So here is the second chapter…sorry it has taken so long to get posted. It has taken me a day or two to come up with what exactly is going to happen. **

**I hope that you like it :)**

**We will chat below. Steph owns.**

**EPOV**

I was really confused when I got out of the shower the next morning and Bella _wasn't _in bed. Where did she go? And then I smelt bacon cooking downstairs. With a confused look I grabbed my tie and things as I headed for the kitchen. When I came to the bottom of the steps I saw Bella standing at the stove fixing breakfast. I came to a complete stop on the second to last step and just stared at her.

Was she going somewhere this morning and fixing breakfast before she went? Bella hasn't cooked breakfast for me since…Hell I don't know when the last time was. She smiled at me and started to fill up my coffee mug and sat it next to the food lined down the breakfast bar. There were pancakes, bacon, eggs…the damn works were laid out for me. I was in shock and couldn't even move. Then she pulled out a thermos and put more coffee in it. When I thought she was done she reached into the fridge and pulled out a container with some of her stroganoff from last night in it.

When everything was placed neatly on the counter she started towards the stairs, "Have a good day at work." She smiled and skipped passed me.

I followed her with my eyes up the stairs until I heard the bedroom door shut. I looked back to all of the food and scoffed out loud before looking back up the stairs again. I almost expected her to come back out and join me but as I sat down and began to eat, she never did. I sat alone and finished the wonderful hot breakfast that was in front of me. This was so much better than hot pockets and McDonald's drive through every morning.

I ate and drank my coffee until everything was completely empty. I even loaded the dishwasher before I decided it was time to go. I was standing at the garage door staring at the knob with my lunch, coffee thermos, and briefcase in my hand. I just couldn't walk out the door yet. I sat my stuff down on the dining room table and hurried up the stairs. There were no sounds coming from our room so I slowly opened the door and peeped in to find Bella sleeping with my pillow curled into her side. For the first time in a long time, I smiled…truly smiled. I don't know what it was about the sight before but I knew at that particular moment that I couldn't let Bella get away from me. I had to do something to keep her by my side forever. If I had to walk from here to the ends of the earth, I would do it. If it took seeing a marriage counselor I would agree to it because she was far too precious for me to just sit back and let her slip through my hands.

I walked into the room and over to her side of the bed. Leaning down I kissed her softly on the cheek and whispered, "I love you Bella."

Then before I woke her I hurried back downstairs and to my car. Backing out of the driveway I felt a bit of hope. There was a future for us. Things were going to get better if it was the last thing I do.

"Morning Heidi." I greeted the receptionist as she buzzed me into the door.

"Morning, Dr. Cullen." She smiled and went back to her work at the computer.

I knew that Jasper was already here and I couldn't wait to talk to him. He would give me the good advice that I needed right now. Jasper knew a lot of good marriage counselors since he was in the psychological realm of college. He could refer Bella and I to a really good doctor.

"Morning." I said cheerfully as I entered his office.

He raised an eyebrow at me and asked, "Good morning? You are awfully chipper…get a good whack in during your shower?"

"Jasper," I scolded him. He didn't need to be talking like that in a pediatric clinic. Not that we had any patients in this early but still.

He laughed once and shrugged. "Well I haven't seen you look this optimistic since…" he narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "Ever."

I rolled my eyes and sat down in the seat next to his desk. "I was wondering…"

"If you could possibly be gay after all this time?" He asked and I could see the smile teasing his lips. He has liked to joke around a lot lately because he knows that this is a rough time on me…he understands. He has tried to encourage me to get help for me and Bella for quite some time even.

"Jasper this is serious. I can leave and find someone more mature to discuss this with if you would prefer? I think Mrs. Johnson is bringing her five year old in at eight this morning. I am sure he would be more attentive."

Jasper rolled his eyes and said, "Ok, I am a giant big ear waiting to hear this…what is it?"

I sighed and said, "I think that I am ready to see a counselor with Bella."

His eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he stared at me in shock. "Really?" Then his entire appearance changed. "Wait, what happened?"

I sat my stuff down in the seat next to me, not missing the way Jasper eyed my lunch. "Well last night when I got home Bella had made this really nice meal for me. She was all dressed up, opened the fancy wine, candles and everything. At first I was afraid that she was telling me she wanted a divorce and then she said she just wanted to make dinner for me. It really made me think, you know? I love her. I don't want to lose her because I am a jack ass and I don't know how to be a husband. I want to fix this. She has done so much for me and I am not doing anything in return…I can't let her slip through my fingers, Jasper. I won't let it happen."

He was leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed snugly. "I told Alice last night it wouldn't take long for you to come around…what did she make for dinner last night? Stroganoff? Is that what's in the bag?" He eyed my lunch again.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my stuff heading to the break room to put my lunch in the fridge.

"Can I have some?" He called after me.

"Fuck off…it's all mine." I said and turned out of his office starting down the hall.

He laughed loudly and shouted, "Be sure you give Timmy Johnson his vocabulary lesson at eight o'clock Dr. Cullen."

I laughed once and rolled my eyes, ignoring him. I made it all the way through my morning appointments when Jasper came to me with a name and number on a prescription paper. I looked at and back at him.

"What's this?" I asked and looked back at the name. John Denali…never heard of him.

"Old friend…I called him up and he said he would be happy to meet with you."

I rolled my eyes and wadded the paper up to shove it back in his coat pocket. "Jasper, I am not gay."

He laughed and shook his head. "No, he is a counselor."

"Oh." Well that changes things. "Great, I will call Bella and see when she is free to meet with him." 

I started to walk past him but he put a hand on my shoulder and stopped me. "Just a minute…he isn't that kind of counselor. But I think that he can help you guys a lot. Besides, Bella and Alice went running and she probably doesn't have her phone with her."

I raised my eyebrows and scrutinized my brother. "What kind of counselor is he, Jasper?"

He smiled and whispered. "A sex counselor."

"A what?" I screamed at him loudly and felt my blood pressure start to rise.

Jasper looked around to make sure no one heard me flip out. "Calm down, it's not what you think it is and I have talked to him about stuff with me and Alice before. He really helped me a couple of times."

I felt my eyes get even bigger. "Does your wife know that you have talked to a sex shrink?"

"Would you shut the hell up?" He whispered at me. "Are you kidding me? I would be in the hospital recovering from an unprofessional nonmedical procedure of a ball removal if she knew that. Of course I haven't told her but honestly Edward…when was the last time that you and Bella had sex?"

I rolled my eyes. "That is none of your business." I spat at him quietly.

He sighed and shook his head. "That long huh? Just think about it Edward…talk to him just once. If you don't like it then I will get a good marriage counselor for you but just give it a try. What could it hurt?"

I sighed as he turned and walked away from me. Looking down I stared at the crumbled piece of paper in my hand. 

"Look, Dr. Cullen." I heard a little girl say behind me. "I pee peed in a cup."

I turned and smiled down at her. She was my next patient. Little four year old Michelle. She was a cutey. I laughed at her and said, "Good job, Michelle…let's give this to a nurse and get your ears and throat checked out."

I took the cup from her and handed it to the nurse walking with her. I picked the little girl up and walked her to the exam room. "Have you heard in little birdies in your ear lately?"

"Yep." She grinned widely and said, "Mommy says that it's because I have an nafection in my ear."

She meant, infection. I smiled and sat her down on the exam table as her mom came in behind me.

"Well how about we get you some medicine and get rid of that nasty nafection?" I asked and pulled my light out to look into both of her ears.

"Ok, can I get a sucker too?" She asked excitedly.

I smiled and said, "Absolutely."

"Goodbye Michelle." I said and waved to her as she stuck her sucker in her mouth and waved.

"Dr. Cullen?" Heidi said as I was heading back towards my office.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Your wife called earlier. She would like for you to call her back."

_Bella called? Why? She never calls. _"Thank you Heidi."

I stuck my hands in my jacket pockets and handed towards my office when I felt the crumpled up paper with the name and number on it. I slipped into my office and shut the door as I pulled the paper out of my pocket and stared at it for a few minutes. By the time I pulled my eyes away I had the number memorized I had stared at it for so long. Giving my brain a rest I figured I would call Bella and make sure that everything was ok.

I called the house phone first and thought I would try her cell next. She answered on the second ring. "Hello?"

"Did you need something?" I asked softly and hoped that my question didn't sound rude. Why couldn't I have said something more polite like, _hey baby I saw where you called what's up?_

She hesitated before saying, "Well Charlie called. He wants us to come up tonight for a cookout. I told him I would let him know once I checked in with you."

Oh…great, a family get together. I am sure her family hates me by now and Emmett would probably pound my face in if he knew the way I treated his sister. But I wanted to do this for Bella. Her family is important to her and I do love them too I just don't know how they feel about me. I looked at the clock and saw that it was barely after noon. "What time?"

"It is at seven but I know you don't get off until six thirty so we don't have to go if you don't want to." She said almost nervously as if I was going to bite her head off or something.

My last appointment was at four so I would be getting off earlier today anyway. She didn't know that though. I had previously just planned on staying around and working on some paper work until six thirty or so. But this way I would get to spend time with her and it would hopefully bring us closer together. Hopefully.

"Yeah…I will try to get home a little early so we won't have to be late." I said, smiling.

"Ok…" She stuttered out. I had probably just shocked her nearly into a heart attack.

"Bye." I said quickly and hung up the phone just as Jasper entered the room.

"Was that John?" He asked hopefully and I shook my head.

"No, that was Bella. I haven't called John." I sneered the man's name and felt a little queasy at the thought of calling him.

Jasper sat down and said, "I talked to him just now, he called and said his four thirty appointment cancelled and he could get you in today if you wanted. Coincidentally your last appointment is at four…enough time to make it to his office."

Jasper wiggled his eyes before leaving me to the number on my desk. Shit. What could it hurt? With a loud sigh I picked up the phone and dialed the number I had just spent so much time staring at.

"So, Mr. Cullen." Dr. Denali started and I could feel a migraine coming on.

"Edward, please." I corrected the man and rubbed my temples.

"Alright, Edward. I can see that you are getting a little stressed." _No shit? _ "Why don't we just talk for a minute?" I nodded in response.

He leaned back in his fancy chair and crossed his hands at his stomach like he was observing me. Why the hell did I agree to do this? I was going to fucking kill Jasper for convincing me that this was a good idea.

"So, I really want you to view me as a friend Edward. I'm a guy that's married…you're a guy that's married. What do you talk about to your other married guy friends?" He asked and raised his dark eyebrows at me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Sex…or the lack thereof. It seems to be a more popular topic with married men."

He grinned and nodded. "I would have to agree. It's like when the rings get on the interests goes."

I shook my head and started to relax a little. "Not for me. It was never like that. Up until now."

Tense again.

He narrowed his eyes and said, "From man to man…when was the last time that it was really…_really_ good?"

I grinned widely and said. "My birthday."

John Denali laughed and said, "Me too. Then again my birthday was three days ago."

I didn't respond, only looked at the pictures of the beautiful woman around his study. Must be his wife. She is gorgeous…no wonder they have great sex. Bella is more beautiful…why don't we have great sex? Why don't we have sex? Oh wait…because I am an asshole. Right.

"What I want you to do Edward is think about the last time you and Bella had the best sex you can ever remember. If it was your birthday then think about that…I just want you to think it over for a minute and then tell me why it was so great."

I sighed and considered walking out but instead I just sighed and closed my eyes and remembered my birthday. It was two months ago.

_Bella was going to see her dad and we got into a huge fight because she wasn't feeling well and she didn't want to go to my parents for my birthday dinner. It was a tradition. We always had dinner at my parent's house for my birthday. I was mad at her and I was convinced that she absolutely hated me because she wouldn't come to my parent's. We fought on the phone while I drove to the familiar house all alone. We fought in text messages while I was there. She finally told me that I should enjoy the time with my family and she would see me at home. Well I was pissed and I didn't want to be around them and I just wanted to be at home in the bed or to have my wife at my own damn birthday dinner. But her father was sick and she insisted on being there. I didn't blame her, I really didn't but I still wanted her to be with me. It was my _birthday._ Besides, Charlie had Sue to take care of him. He was a grown man, he could handle his own. _

_Right before I left my parents house Bella sent me a message that said she was sorry and that she loved me. I didn't respond. As soon as I ate some of my favorite apple crumble that mom always made for me I left. I went home angry, with all intentions of making Bella feel like shit because she missed my birthday. When I got home her car was already in the garage. I got out and slammed the car door before walking into the house. I stomped into the kitchen to find Bella and immediately all of my anger melted away. She had a small birthday cake with one candle in it. She was in some kind of sexy lingerie piece that made my dick rigid with just a glance. I looked at the cake and it said, _I'm Sorry._ I just looked at her as she stared at me with those big brown eyes. I blew the candle out before taking the cake away from her as I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me…_

I snapped my eyes open and looked at him before I could let my mind continue down that path. The last thing I wanted to do was to get a raging hard on in front of Dr. Sex Therapist. Why was I here again?

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Well?"

I know what he wanted. He wanted to know what made that time so good? There were many perverted things I could have said, but that's not what he wanted and I knew that they weren't what made sex with my wife so good.

"We loved each other." I answered him and he turned his head to the side.

"Loved? Past tense?" He asked and leaned forward until his elbows were on his knees.

I shook my head. "No, I still love her. I wouldn't be here if I didn't love her."

He nodded and said, "And that is what makes a marriage, Edward. Commitment, responsibility of our actions. The knowledge to know when we are at a point in our lives that something has to be done to fix our mistakes, and that is why you are here today right? You know that you have to fix your marriage with Bella somehow and if this be it…you are committed to her enough to do it. I know how hard this is for you…I can tell that it is a strain for you to be here but you wouldn't have walked in that door if you didn't think it would help your marriage. Am I right?"

He was right. "Yes, surprisingly."

He laughed and said, "I want to help you Edward and I truly believe I can but you have to be willing to let me. Are you willing to do that?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. This was going to work. I was going to get help in fixing my marriage. "Yeah, I am willing to do whatever it takes to fix this."

Dr. Denali smiled and said, "Good. I'm very glad to hear that. Now I spoke with Jasper earlier and he mentioned something that I would have to agree with. I think you and Bella should take a vacation. I think that you should take some time and get away from the things that cause you to be stressed and the things that cause friction. It is always healthy to step outside of the box sometimes. I think it would be a great idea."

"I guess that I could arrange something for this weekend?" I questioned and he grinned brightly.

"Great." He encouraged. "Go some place exotic and completely different from home. Somewhere that doesn't even make you think of Washington. Plan lots of outings together. Like go to an island and hike to a waterfall. Do things that put you in situations where you have to talk to one another. Do things that remind you of why you first fell in love with her. You get the picture…recreate your first date…recreate your first time." He nodded and I nodded with him.

"I've got some books that I want you to take home and read. They might help you some." He said as he walked over to one of his shelves and pulled down a couple of books as he continued to talk. "A lot of times in marriages, one partner is completely willing to have sex as much as possible but they feel that they don't know how to approach it or that their spouse doesn't have the same sex drive and may not want it as often as they do. It's not always the case but it is a major thing to consider. Maybe Bella has cooked a nice dinner and breakfast for you because she wants something in return…you have to consider these things sometimes. Women are much more complex than we are and rarely ever do they just come out and say what they want so communication is a big part of a marriage. I always say that there's communication and then there's sex. They aren't the same thing, they are two totally different topics and should be approached that way. And from what you tell me Edward you and Bella are lacking in both communication and sex but you need to know that you can't just go home and sweep her off to bed and it make everything ok. Communication has to be their first. So talk to her more…compliment her more and then get to the sex."

He handed me the two books and patted the one on top. "This one talks a lot about communication, the other one more about sex, so see if those help you. Plan the vacation. You have my email and phone number you can call me anytime that you need to. Alright?"

I nodded and stood up extending my hand. "Thank you."

He smiled and patted my shoulder. "No problem, Edward. Have a good day. I will email you soon."

"Goodbye." I said as I left his office with my arms full and my mind racing of the different vacation areas we could travel to this weekend.

I sat in my car for nearly forty five minutes reading the book about 'sex' as Dr. Denali had called it. _Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages._ Sounded interesting enough. Before I knew it I was already in chapter four and it was fifteen till six and I had to get home so that Bella and I could head over to her father's.

**A/N: So…what do you think? I am really liking this EPOV stuff :) Can't wait for the rest. **

**Next chapter will be the family dinner. See what happens when Emmett corners Edward to give him some "advice"**

**The book that Dr. Denali gives Edward is a real book that I don't have any rights to, just mentioned it in a passing the book belongs to the authors and not me. (Just for safety reasons) **

**Leave me a review and let me know what you think about the story so far :)**

**Thanks to all!**

***KRay***


	3. Operation: Consume Me

**A/N: So, thanks for the few reviews so far! I am going to try to post at least once a week. The more reviews the more inspiration and the more inspiration the quicker I write lol!**

**Glad that everyone likes Edward's view so far hopefully that is all going to get better. This chapter has the lemon in it so yay! So excited about that. Also some funny family interaction with Edward and Emmett…can't wait for that fun stuff :)**

**So let's get started!**

**Steph owns them. They own me. It's a vicious cycle.**

**EPOV**

We got to Charlie's house after everyone else arrived and I went into the kitchen to drop off the dish that Bella had made. Sue greeted me with a hug and a bright smile. She was always really sweet. I liked her a lot. I actually kind of miss spending time with Bella's family. I haven't made a trip out here with her in several months. And the drive was actually really nice…Bella and I talked and made good conversation. That was a really great sign. Most of the time, I thought about the book that I was reading earlier.

Maybe this is really going to help us. And that thought alone made me smile. After saying hello to everyone I passed on my way to find Bella, I finally found her in the backyard with Emmett. This is the confrontation I dreaded the most, second to Charlie's. He didn't seem all that pissed with me so maybe Emmett and I would be on good terms as well.

Just as I was stepping out on the back patio I heard Emmett ask about me. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Emmett was very protective of Bella. They were only cousins but he looked after her like a big brother looks after a little sister and I know that given the opportunity that Emmett would rearrange my face.

"He's around here somewhere." Bella answered as I approached. I nodded towards Rosalie as she was standing next to Bella. Bella, whom was holding a baby. Was that Drew? Wow I've missed a lot.

"I'm here." I said and gave Emmett a cheap smile and got his bear grin in return. Emmett was a big man…rearrange face.

"Hey man," Emmett shook my hand and gave a pretty damn firm grip. I tried not to wince. "How have you been Edward? It's been awhile." I didn't miss the emphasis he put on 'awhile.' _I know Emmett, I'm an asshole._

We talked about their recent trip with Rosalie's family that I barely remembered Bella mentioning. When Emmett said that Drew loved the ocean I looked over at Bella holding the little blonde boy and realized that it indeed _was_ baby Drew.

"This is Drew? God he has gotten so big." I commented as he grinned and nearly leaped into my arms. "How have you been buddy?" I said and tickled his sides a little as he laid his head down right on my shoulders. I heard the women awe for a moment.

I don't think that Emmett liked the fact of his son giving me much attention because he had to be quick to steal his attention back by playing the 'say daddy' game with him.

Drew wanted to stay with me the whole night and I absolutely loved it. It was quite the entertainer. At one point he started rambling on in the cutest baby talk and I just had to sit and stare and shake my head like I knew exactly what he was talking about. When Rosalie tried to take him away to change the rather rotten diaper he screamed bloody murder so I offered to do it for her. I have changed plenty of diapers in my day.

Apparently this was a fact that shocked Bella. "You know how to change diapers?" She asked in total shock.

I just chuckled and nodded. "Pediatrician, Bella."

I heard her and Rosalie laughing about something as I started up the stairs with Drew. He was talking again and I was just snickering at him go on and on. Must get all of that talking from his momma. I laughed at myself wondering what Emmett's reaction to my recent thought would have been.

I stopped at the top step when a rather large frame stepped in front of me. _Speaking of the devil. _I smiled at my brother-in-law and said, "Oh, hit Emmett."

"What are you doing?" He asked with his arms crossed over his mammoth sized chest like some kind of club bouncer. I laughed once and shifted Drew in my arms.

"Nothing, I just offered to change Drew for Rose." I said and moved passed him to the first room I came to. Emmett followed.

"He's my son." She said defensively. "I can change his diaper."

"Ok." I said and handed Drew straight over as he started in a long strand of "Ma ma ma ma ma ma." It was cute.

Emmett took him inside the guest room and laid down the changing pad as he placed Drew on it. Immediately Drew was half way across the bed trying to get away from Emmett. I laughed to myself and got an annoyed look from him. So I pursed my lips and stood there silently. I couldn't miss this. Toddler versus Father. It was going to be funny. Had Emmett _ever _changed the kids diaper.

"Drew, come here to daddy." Emmett said calmly and stood perfectly still next to the end of the bed.

"No no no no no." Drew started chanting and jumping up and down on the bed. I tried not to laugh again. Must get that from his mom too.

"Drew." Emmett said a little more forcefully. "Come here now, please."

Drew continued to sing his song and jump across the bed. When Emmett lurched forward and tried to grab him he laughed and thought it was some kind of game so every time his father's bear hands would reach for him, Drew would run across the bed and laugh.

I snickered lightly at watching Emmett reach across the bed time after time. He turned to me and said, "I think we're ok here. You can go now."

I raised my eyebrows at him and nodded. "Ok."

I turned and started down the hall when I heard Drew scream real loud and start crying. I couldn't help but to smile. Babies liked me…big deal.

"Uh…" I heard from behind me as I started down the stairs. I turned to see Emmett looking a little apprehensive. Drew was still in the bedroom crying. "I've not really changed his diaper in awhile…last time I changed one he couldn't move like that and Rosalie will need a diaper change if I bring him back downstairs smelling like that."

I laughed and started back up to the room. Walking in the door I smiled at the little boy and he just smile right back. When I reached for him and asked him to come closer he walked right over to me. "Good boy, Drew. Want to change your diaper?" I asked and goosed his sides making him laugh as I laid him down on the pad.

"How do you do that?" Emmett asked curiously.

I shrugged and said, "I don't know, I'm just really good with kids."

"Same IQ." Emmett teased and I laughed at him.

"You're probably right." I joked back and quickly changed Drew's diaper. When I was putting his clothes back on him Emmett started in the dreaded conversation.

"I know that I don't really have a right to say this but…the way you've been treating Bella is pretty shitty Edward and it really pisses me off." He said honestly. I always admired that about Emmett. He didn't hold back. Very blunt and straight to the point.

I held Drew's hands as he jumped up and down on the bed so that he wouldn't fall but I couldn't look at Emmett as I nodded and said, "I know, Emmett."

"I mean…I've always liked you Edward and you've been around for a really long time. But I love Bella, she may not be my sister by birth but she is the closest thing I have to one and I'm not going to let anyone hurt her…especially her own damn husband."

I looked at him this time and nodded. "I appreciate that Emmett. You don't know what it means to me to have someone care so much for her."

He just kind of stared at me. I could practically read his thoughts, _er what does that mean? _ I sighed and looked back to Drew as he smiled and sat down to play with the wipe box.

"I'm working on it Emmett. We are working on it…Rome wasn't built in a night, but we are making progress. I love Bella despite what anyone thinks and I'm not going to let her just slip away from me because I'm a shitty husband."

"At least you own up to it. Damn it man, I thought that I was going to have to beat you to pulp or something." He said laughingly and nudged me with his shoulder.

I smiled and shook my head. "Not necessary."

"Good." He smiled.

"Damn." Drew said and looked up to us. He must have heard Emmett just say that.

We both looked at each other with that 'uh-oh' look. Emmett bent down to Drew and shook his head. "Don't say that word it's a bad word."

"Damn." Drew said again and then decided to repeat it over and over and over.

We both looked a little panicked so I reached for him to pull him into my arms. "What about Edward? Can you say Edward?"

"Damn." He said and laughed at Emmett who made a loud groaning sound.

"Fu-" Emmett's eyes widened and he covered his mouth before he could finish the word. I just laughed and shook my head.

"Best thing to do is distract him with another word." I informed Emmett and looked back to Drew. "Drew, where's momma?"

"Mom-ma!" He said excitedly and started jumping up and down in my arms. So then he started chanting momma over and over.

I smiled to Emmett and said, "Problem solved."

We headed down the stairs and Emmett was right behind me chanting Momma with Drew so he would forget the curse word he just learned.

Rosalie turned and smiled at him when she heard his little chant. She grinned and said, "What are you doing baby boy?"

He laughed and said, "Da-da! Damn." And I swear on my _damn _life he pointed straight to Emmett who tried to turn around and run before Rosalie caught him.

"Emmett!" She screamed at him and everyone within a hearing range just laughed at the whole situation.

I played with Drew until he fell asleep in my arms. Rosalie and Bella had both ran off to the back yard after they finished eating. They were talking about baby stuff and went to find Leah, Sue's pregnant daughter. Most of the men were gathered in the living room watching some game that was on. I wasn't paying much attention to anything but the thoughts running through my mind about my marriage. I really wanted to change things and it seems like I was so anxious to get everything fixed I hadn't really stopped to think about the important things. For starters…I needed to apologize. Bella had to understand how sorry I was for the way things have went the past six months or so. Yeah, I would like for the sex to pick back up because there is only so much my hand can take. I started thinking about my office time with our honeymoon pictures and videos. But then I started drifting to more pure thoughts when I remembered that I was holding a sleeping baby. Not appropriate at all.

So first step. Apologize. Second step…I was going to have to seduce my wife because I wanted her and I know that there has to be some part of her that has missed me in the same way. God…I've missed her. I feel like I've been living with a total stranger for the past two months. What has happened to us?

Everyone moving outside sort of pulled me out of my daze so I got up and carried Drew out to Rosalie.

"Thanks so much Edward." She smiled and hugged me after grabbing her baby. "I hope he didn't annoy you any."

I shook my head and said, "Oh god, of course not. He was perfect."

She smiled and said, "You are really good with kids. You will make a great father one day, Edward."

I made a funny face and said, "One day far from now I'm sure." One has to be on speaking terms with their significant other to even make a baby so…in the far future.

She smiled wider and said, "It will happen when the time is right. May be in the next few months or so…you never know."

"Do you know something I don't know?" I asked almost a little nervous.

Rose laughed and shook her head. "Of course not…I'm just saying it will happen when you least expect it."

I chuckled and said, "Thanks…I think."

I left Rosalie and Drew just as Emmett was coming over to find her. So I went on my search for Bella. She smiled at me as I approached and I returned her smile before wrapping my arm around her shoulders. Physical contact was a good start right? I saw Bella's eyes glaze over as she smiled up at me even bright. I just grinned back and almost sighed in relief. As she continued to talk to Leah about her baby that would be arriving soon I remembered how good it felt to touch my wife. We have been without any contact for so long that it was almost like she filled a void in me that I didn't even know was there. I pulled her a little tighter and couldn't help the smile that covered my face at how _good _and _right _it felt.

Yeah, this is going to work.

"Can I have everyone's attention for just a second?" Charlie asked as he and Sue moved over to be the center of attention.

"First off, thanks for coming tonight. It was great to see everyone…especially some long lost children of mine. I am glad they found their way home. Well to get down to it…we have an announcement to make." Charlie said and his face blushed a little. Chief of police…blushing?

"Charlie is she pregnant?" Emmett teased causing everyone to laugh.

Charlie's blush only deepened. "No Emmett…" He said and plastered a bright smile on his face. "But Sue and I have decided to get married."

After loads of hugs and congratulations for the happy couple Bella and I said our goodbyes and headed home.

As soon as we got in the car and pulled out onto the road Bella said, "I am happy for them."

"Me too." I agreed. "Your dad deserves some happiness. I think that job is too stressful on him sometimes." I observed. There was definitely more gray hair on his head than the last time I saw him. I know that job had to be causing some of those grays. I know my job was starting to create some in my head and I'm nearly twenty years younger than the man.

"You're right. It is too stressful on him." Bella said and I could see a bit of worry etch across her face. I know that she worried about her father a lot but I think that Sue will alleviate some of that worry. I hope so anyway. Bella worries about him being happy. I know Sue makes him happy.

"He was really happy tonight. I haven't seen him that happy in awhile." I said in truth and to reassure her.

After a few silent seconds I said, "Drew has gotten so big."

Bella laughed lightly and replied, "Well Dr. Cullen, babies do get big."

I laughed and narrowed my eyes at her. "Smart ass."

Bella smiled brightly and relaxed into her seat a little. I loved seeing a smile on her face and it saddens to me think that I am the reason a smile hasn't been there for quite some time.

"So," She started and grinned at me. "You are serious about getting out of town this weekend?"

I grinned at her slowly and nodded. "Yeah, I think it would be good for us."

Reaching over, I took her hand in mine, sighing at the feeling of completeness that washed over me. "I love you Bella but we need to fix us…I finally see that."

She smiled brightly at me as if my words made her year. "I love you too Edward."

Bella held onto my hand rather tightly all the way home. It was like she was afraid to let it go. In all honesty, I felt the same way. If I let her hand go the happy moment would be over and I would have a void inside of me again. I never wanted that void there ever again!

Soon we made it to the house and I couldn't get her upstairs fast enough. I wasn't going to be pushy and I wasn't going to demand sex but I knew that if just simply holding her hand made me feel this good that being _with _her would make me feel even better and I know that it would do the same for her. I loved my wife and I planned on showing her. There would be nothing rough and rushed about it. I planned on taking my time and reminding her of the love that we have.

Our hands stayed linked together until we reached the closet and began to change. I released her hand only so that I could quickly disrobe myself and get ready for her. I wanted her…bad. I stepped back and watched Bella as she pulled her pajamas out. When she started to raise her shirt up over her head I had to stop her. I didn't want to just attack her when the clothes came off. I wanted to be sensual and intimate and remove them for her.

Reaching forwards I stopped her hands with mine and softly said, "I've missed you Bella."

She shook a little and I heard her exhale a low breath as I slowly tugged her shirt upwards. I wanted to be slow for two reasons. Anticipation was everything. And I also wanted to give her the choice to say no if she wanted to. I didn't want to push this too fast but damn it…I _needed _her. Dr. Denali would scold me for not talking first I just know it.

Bella still hadn't stopped me by the time that her shirt was completely gone so I leaned forward and placed a slow soft kiss on her shoulder. She gasped loudly and I felt the cold chills spread across her body as my hands roamed her smooth skin and my lips explored her neck. God it was like…Earth's second mission to the moon. They forgot how amazing it was the first time and then next time was even better.

Bella moaned softly as I sucked against that spot on her neck that drove her wild. Her fingers entwined with mine and she rolled her head to the side to give me more access. When I reached her ear I whispered softly, "I love you."

I hoped that she understood just how much I loved her. I adored her with everything that was inside of me and there was no woman that could ever replace the love I have for Bella. No woman…ever!

Her hands released mine and she turned slowly until our eyes were meeting. There was so much passion and fire in her chocolate depths that I nearly lost myself in it. Her hands moved up my skin so smoothly and softly it felt like every touch was igniting a fire in my blood and my blood was kerosene. She reached around my neck and pulled me closer to her as she whispered, "I love you too."

She leaned forward just a little until our lips were meeting for the first time in…fuck I don't know when but it felt heavenly! Her plump lips were moving against mine and it didn't take long before I was pushing her towards the bed. There was no sense in wasting time, now. I was slowly burning from the inside out. I needed to get to her and be with her before her fire consumed me.

Falling into bed we wasted no time in removing the other's clothes and soon I was pressed against her pushing into her body and listening to the groan that I had been deprived of for too long. I whimpered and lowered my head to her shoulder. Kissing her softly before nibbling along her collar bone I started to move against her. She began to move with me. Her hands fisted in my hair the way they used to and she wrapped her legs tight around me holding me closer.

"Oh," She hummed loudly into my ear. "Edward…I love you."

I leaned back and pressed my lips into her as I poured every ounce of love and emotion I had into her. We made love until we were both breathless and as I shoved into her one last time I knew for sure that things were looking up.

I hugged Bella close to me under the covers of our bed and I kissed all along her shoulders as she drifted off to a deep sleep in my arms.

**A/N: So I hope that you liked it! I loved the Emmett and Edward interaction and Emmett chasing Drew across the bed haha. Good stuff! I always love daddy characteristics in my male characters :):):)**

**Ok so leave me a review! Let me know what you think! The sexy scenes will get steamer as we go! **

**Thanks for reading :)  
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***KRay***


	4. Operation: Morning After

**A/N: For starters I want to apologize for not posting in so long! Real life has been a be-otch lately and I started classes today! UGH! But anyway thanks for being so patient and once again I am so sorry it has taken so long for me to update. **

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed thus far. I have tried to respond to all of them. I hope I have succeeded. I want waste any time because I know you're anxious to hear from Eddie boy so Steph Meyers owns. I just play. **

**Enjoy**

**Chapter 4**

When I fell asleep last night I had all intentions of leaving Bella a sweet note or, waking her up to tell her goodbye but I woke up nearly forty five minutes late. I took a shower that I should have contacted Guiness about and ate nothing but my cold coffee that was set on the timer in the kitchen for breakfast. I cursed myself loudly when I nearly backed into the garage door trying to get out quickly. I forgot to open the damn thing. I barely made it into the office before my first patient was there. Jasper met me at the door with a confused look.

"Wow, Mr. Prompt is late this morning." He said and then grinned widely. "You got some last night didn't you?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed into my office. "I don't have time for this Jasper. I am running extremely late."

"Yep." He confirmed with a large smile. "I knew it wouldn't take long for Bella to cave to her womanly needs. How old is she now? 26? She is getting closer to her prime…wait until she hits 30. She will be waking you up at four in the morning because she is as hornier as a mule."

I stopped everything I was doing with my stethoscope halfway to my neck and raised an eyebrow at him. "And you know this how?" I questioned.

My brother laughed loudly and just turned to walk away. Sometimes I just don't understand him. Scratch that. I never understand him. All morning long I thought about last night. It was…a relief. That almost doesn't make sense but it felt so good to be buried inside of her again. It felt good to hear her panting for me again, to have her nails digging into my scalp, her legs wrapped tightly around my waist while her chest heaves against me.

I made a face and adjusted myself as I walked into my office after my first several appointments. It had been so long for both of us and last night was needed and it was amazing. I couldn't wait to get home to her. I found myself hoping she would call just to talk to me or call and tell me that she wanted to go out tonight. Actually that sounded like a good idea. I was going to take her out tonight. We haven't been out in a long time. It would give us both an opportunity to get all dressed up. There is a new restaurant that recently opened.

Just as I was about to pick up the phone and dial her number the hospital paged me. The Spencers just had a baby and I see their other two kids so it has been in line for me to examine the baby for the past couple of months we were just waiting for the day. I sighed and glanced at the phone as I headed out the door and across the street to the hospital.

After several blood tests and a screaming baby for three hours straight I was pooped. I was tired and hungry because I missed lunch _and_ breakfast, it had been the craziest day ever, and I wanted to go home to my wife. I was so tempted to leave early but I still had three more patients to see and I left early yesterday. Jasper would castrate me if he even thought I wanted to leave early. As soon as I stepped back into the office I heard Heidi call my name. The phone was pressed to her ear and she informed me Bella was on the phone.

I told her I would take it in my office and I smiled brightly as I sunk down in my seat and listened to Bella's beautiful voice slip through the phone. I told her I wanted to take her out but apparently she was already cooking. I hummed just thinking about whatever delicious treat she would be making. Such a good cook!

After hanging up with Bella I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about her, cooking. I know it was so perverted and nasty of me but damn it…I couldn't help myself. A real dream of mine is to walk into the kitchen and to see my wife cooking, naked. And no, it's not some kind of sick womanizer thing where she should be pregnant and bare foot in the kitchen for the next twenty years it's just that I love when Bella is naked and I love when she cooks for me so the two combined would be heaven. After I finished up my last appointment I remembered that I had some booking to do. I plopped down at my office computer and quickly sent a message to our travel agent to get everything squared away for the weekend. Marcus was a saint! I truly believed it. Isn't there a Saint Marcus? I laughed to myself and shook my head. I was getting delirious.

I left as quickly as I could without raising any question to my speedy departure. I was so thankful to finally be heading home and all I could continue to think about was Bella. Kitchen. Naked. We were having sex in the kitchen and soon and there will be nothing that she can say or do to persuade me otherwise.

I nearly came my pants when I saw the house down the block. I don't think I have ever moved out of my car and into the house that quickly. I didn't waste any time once I was inside the house either. My blazer and briefcase were dropped at the door and I was already yanking at my tie when I rounded the corner to the dinning room. There was Bella in this stunning red dress showing so much cleavage sitting on the table. I groaned. Audibly groaned and nearly ran to her. I slammed my hands down on either side of her legs and leaned forward pressing my lips to hers. I groaned again. She moaned and opened her mouth for me so I jumped on the opportunity. My hands fisted in her hair and I wondered why she wasn't touching me back briefly. Deepening the kiss I moved closer to her wanting to feel her body pressed against mine. So soft and smooth. I wanted her now.

Stepping back just barely enough to reach the buttons of my shirt I propositioned her and hoped she would not refuse. "Let's just skip dinner."

She laughed and moved her leg up between us. The sole of her shoe pressed into my stomach and she pushed me further away from her. It took me about two seconds to catch a glimpse of all the visible skin and I knew then that I was a goner. I trailed my eyes all the way from her red toe nail peeping through the black sexy shoes all the way up her leg. That smooth skin disappeared under the red fabric of her dress and I swallowed hard at what lie at the top of that leg. Then I quickly scanned my eyes over her cleavage and looked up to her grinning face. I think I groaned again…really loudly. She just looked so fuckable. I wanted in her and now.

"Would you like a drink?" She offered her hand to me. I now realized why she hadn't touched me before. She was holding drinks. I grabbed the martini from her outstretched hand and drank it all in one long gulp. I didn't take my eyes off of her as she grinned out of the side of her mouth watching me. When I sat my glass down she took a small sip of hers and I couldn't help but to look at the cleavage nearly right in front of my face. Wow…I really liked this dress. Why didn't she wear it more often? Wait…

"New dress?" I asked. She must have gone through a lot for this if she even got a new dress. I promised myself then that I wouldn't be an ass about right now and I would enjoy every minute of it. And honestly…I don't think I was going to have a hard time doing that.

Bella fell down on top of my chest breathing as heavy as marathon runner after a race. I just had one word for what had just happened.

Damnfuckingshit. That was hot. I was breathless. She was breathless. I haven't come that hard since I was a teenager. I moaned out a heavy breath and wrapped my arms around Bella.

"Damn." I breathed and pulled her against me. "That was amazing."

She barely agreed with me before falling asleep in my arms. My girl had just come three times. THREE fucking times, she came for me. I couldn't wipe the cheesy ass grin off of my face. I don't know what it was about her but she has never felt that good before. Something was different. Yeah she had always felt amazing but that…that was epic. Every fucker in the world should be jealous of my happy ass right now. Maybe Jasper was right…Bella was getting closer to her prime. Which meant more hot sex like this. I loved her. I looked down at Bella lying in my arms. Her face was still flushed and her hair was sticking to her forehead because of all the sweat. I hummed and leaned down planting a soft kiss on her lips. They tasted like lemons. I grinned and wider and rested my head on hers before slipping off into my own mini coma.

I was awaken from the weirdest dream but I suddenly couldn't remember what it was because Bella's tongue was in my mouth. I smiled to myself and just returned the favor. I could tell I was already hard but then Bella scooted closer and grinded her naked hips against me and that was that. I had to have her. Now. Gripping her hip I slid her leg around mine and felt how wet she was for me. With a slow moan she grabbed a hold of me and slid right down on my stiff cock. It felt so good. I moaned and grabbed her hips rolling us over until I was on my back. Just like last night.

I didn't realize until then that the alarm clock was going off. I could tell that it had caught Bella's attention as well because she completely froze above me. I be damned if that stupid alarm clock was going to cockblock me. I swirled my hips underneath her causing her to remember where she was at and where I was. She moaned and started kissing me again as she swirled her own hips this time. It felt so good. I couldn't help but to buck my hips off the bed in an attempt to get closer…deeper. I needed more but I couldn't bring myself to rush this. I wanted to take my time with her. Gripping her ass roughly I pushed her against me and slowly raised my hips off the bed moving in and out of her. I could feel her start to tighten around me and just the thought of it made me stiffen and get closer to my release. With one last shove and a swivel of her hips she came, clamping down on my like some kind of vice. I couldn't hold off then. I shot into her with a loud groan.

After a few silent seconds the beeping of the alarm clock brought me out of my haze and I looked up to my beautiful flushed wife lying on top of me.

"Good morning." I grinned at her.

Her smile did crazy things to me. I haven't seen her smile in so long and it's all my fault. "Morning." She replied.

**A/N: I know I know I know…it is really short and you all want to kill me now. I know! But I have to skip around some and the next part is too complicated to right at this particular moment considering I am sitting in the school library. I hope no one watched me right that part because I was probably blushing like crazy lol!**

**So I hope that you liked the short lemony goodness and I hope to get the next chapter posted really soon! Leave me a review please and thanks :):):)**


	5. Operation: Beach Trip

**Hey all! Sorry that I haven't updated in awhile and you are really going to hate me after this one because it is so short but we will talk more about that below.**

**Steph owns. Sorry once again. Now go read please and thanks. Leave me so love in a review!**

**EPOV**

This was it…I had taken everyone's advice, including John's, and was on vacation with Bella. We were at the beach and I had just apologized to her. Told her how shitty of a husband I was and she knew it…she knew I sucked at this but she still loved me and forgave me for it and for that…I am so thankful. I was about to take her again and this time it would be different. Because now she would know that I was sorry for the things that I had done and she would know that I truly loved her.

I had to clear my head for a second. I had to just jump in the shower and wash the grimy sand off and clear my head for a few seconds. There was so much swimming around in there. So much I wanted to tell Bella. So much I wanted to catch up on and that's what this weekend was for…right?

I heard her come into the bathroom and told her I would be out in a few minutes. With a plea to hurry she left the bathroom. I don't know why on earth that she even came in…probably to check her hair or make-up or something. I laughed lightly to myself and shook my head. I felt like a new man with his first love. I felt like I did when I first realized how deeply I cared for Bella. I smiled wider at the thought and shut the water off. Grabbing a towel, I ran it over my chest and pushed the shower curtain back and froze.

Oh. My. Cock.

Taped to the mirror were pictures of Bella. Not just any part of Bella but of her bare pussy.

I cursed loudly under my breath and threw the towel down on the floor and yanked the pictures off the mirror. She was going to be the death of me. I was sure of it. First, she slipped her thong into my pants pocket this morning. A patient discovered them for me. Then she shows up at the office today with that lingerie move again. She damn deserved to have her own panties shoved into her mouth. I groaned and headed straight for the bedroom. She was going to get it, now.

My heart nearly stopped beating when I entered the room and saw her lying naked on the bed running her fingers through her bare little lips.

"Bella." I growled through my teeth and presented her the pictures but my eyes wouldn't leave her bare pussy. God! She was still rubbing herself.

"Yes?" She asked coyly.

"What is this?" I was referring to the pictures.

She almost laughed at me and her smart reply was, "It's a picture of my pussy, baby."

"It's bare…it wasn't bare at lunch today."

Bella responded with something but I was in such a daze I barely heard her. All I knew was that I was taking her. Right. The. Fuck. Now.

Groaning, I threw the pictures and pounced on top of Bella. God, I was so hard I think that I was already on the verge of cuming and Bella was so wet when my tongue dashed into her opening trying to get all that I could out. Bare. Fucking bare. There was nothing there…

_Wow, Dr. Suess…really?_

I moaned loudly in annoyance to myself and then listened to Bella gasp for air. She must have liked that so I tried it again…yep, that definitely worked for her.

She started begging and it pained me to know that she wanted me so bad and when I say pained me, I meant that my balls were turning a nice shade of blue. Kissing up along her body I finally rolled us to our sides and barely slid into her. I still had control of her hips and she wasn't liking this too well either. I smiled and kissed along her neck as my hand moved between us to rub across her _bare_ pussy. Fuck. That was so hot. When she got a little mouthy I slapped her ass pretty hard and made her groan. I don't know what's come over me and why I am all about smacking that ass all of the sudden but damn, it's hot to hear her moan that way.

I slapped her one more time and said, "I imagine your ass is turning a nice shade of pink right now."

That only resulted in her trying to pull me into her by grabbing my shaft but I jerked my hips away causing her to groan and beg some more.

I teased her for a bit longer until she finally broke down and just asked me to screw her. And my pleasure it was. Flipping her over to press her back against me I slammed into her and loved how wet and ready she was.

There was no love in what happened next. It was all just hardcore fucking. I screwed her so hard she could barely breath by the time I let her climax and she was screaming my name. Fuck, it felt good.

Not longer after we had both cum, I wanted her again. Slipping my fingers into her pussy I worked her over until I pulled them out and let her taste herself. Then she wet her own fingers and stuck them in my mouth. This went on for awhile and we fucked until we literally couldn't fuck any longer. We explored a few new things that gave ideas for the future and we spent a wonderful weekend together.

The small vacation was definitely needed and so very worth every minute of it.

**I know…I know. So short but good I hope. Ok so the next chapter skips to when Bella tells him she is pregnant and everything after that will be about the pregnancy since we all know how they save their marriage :)**

**Don't hate me too badly for being a slacker on my posting. I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. New one coming soon :):):)**

***KRay***


	6. Operation: Baby Hormones

**A/N: I know…I fail as a writer but I haven't had any inspiration to write on this one in awhile, until now that is because you are obviously getting a chapter lol!**

**I have been suffering from some serious writer's block on EVERYTHING and now it's like the floodgates have opened and I am drowning in ideas. So lucky you…you get a new chapter from the flood haha**

**This has skipped ahead quite a bit. Bella is now five months pregnant. Where we left off she is barely even two months pregnant. This is before Charlie's wedding, it is coming up in the next month. Hope that clarifies the time frame. Bella: 5 months pregnant. Edward: completely sated with pregnant sex.**

**LOL**

**Steph owns it all. I now own BREAKING DAWN TICKETS! :D**

**EPOV**

I love my wife to pieces. I swear I really do. But my dick is going to fall off. It will happen. I have had more sex in the past four months than I think I have ever had in my entire damn life.

Am I complaining?

I walk around with a grin that the Cheshire cat envies. Hell no I am not complaining. I'm just…sore.

My dick is chafed or some random shit but every time I see my wife with her protruding belly and she is rubbing her stomach and smiling brightly…I go crazy and I have to have her then and there. And there has been some very odd places.

We were at Charlie's one night, eating with Bella's family and she kept rubbing her stomach softly and smiling as she and Sue talked. Then she would look at me with those eyes…you know what I am talking about. Eyes that say, _'I am fucking your brains out when we get home,' _eyes. Yeah, I get those a lot and then I go crazy. So…I may or may not have sated me and my wife in her father's upstairs bathroom. It was all a breathy, sweating, moaning blur.

Insatiable doesn't even begin to describe the way Bella and I have been lately. I don't think we had this much sex when we were teenagers. Bella has her crazy baby hormones that make her literally crazy at times and they make her want sex twenty four seven and I swear. And you know the old tale that if a pregnant woman climbs over her husband in the morning when she is sick he will be sick too? Well I think that it's that way with me and Bella just about the sex. She is making me sick, sickly obsessed with screwing her at all points during the day.

It is borderline ridiculous. We had a meeting with John and Carmen about it, because that's what they do for a living, people. They assured us that it was perfectly normal and added that it may be because we are kind of going through a honeymoon phase because our marriage was in shambles and now we have fixed it. There are still lots of things that need to be worked on and we work them out right after we have sex. It's almost funny how that works out…we bang each other until we can barely see straight and then I pull Bella onto my lap and we talk about our marriage. There is nothing wrong with it. John and Carmen said so themselves, it is our way of working through our problems. And when we get done discussing everything we have sex again, normally make up sex because we end up fighting about something during our discussions. But that's ok because when I lay my head on that pillow and pull Bella close to my chest, kiss her belly and then kiss her forehead, I know that I love her and she loves me and that's all that matters. That and our precious baby.

"Edward!" Bella called and stepped into my study. I didn't care so much for her coming in here anymore. I had nothing to hide.

I smiled brightly when I looked her over. She was in one of my t-shirts and nothing else. It was my day off so we had no reason to get dressed. I was only in a pair of boxers. Bella rubbed her stomach and bit at her lip as she saw my eyes roaming her body.

"Come here baby." I said and scooted my seat away from my desk.

She shook her head and began to run one foot up the back of her other leg. Mmm…

"Why not?" I asked and pouted, hoping it would get me my way.

"Because I am have to cook. I just wanted to know what you wanted for lunch." She said and took a deep breath.

"Your pussy." I answered truthfully. It was what I wanted. She asked me didn't she?

"Edward…" She scolded and looked down as her pinks turned a nice shade of pink.

"What? You asked and I told." I defended myself before standing up and walking over to her.

I kissed her swiftly and then splayed my hands out across her growing stomach. It amazed me sometimes to think that our child is growing inside of my wife's stomach and I put it there. Yes, I am a pediatrician and I work with kids on a daily basis but I never really considered how it would feel to know that Bella and I had made this child that I can now feel moving under my hands.

We smiled at each other and Bella said, "He really likes you."

"She." I said and kissed her forehead. "She is going to be a daddy's girl."

"You don't know that we are having a girl." Bella scolded me. We've been over this many times.

I laughed and nodded. "Yes, I do. I remember what position we did it in…that position results in a girl."

"And what position was that, sir?" She questioned my judgment.

"You were on top." I smiled brighter. God, I was getting hard just thinking about Bella on top.

"No, you were behind me and we were on our sides." She corrected me.

I don't really remember the position and she knows that. She was probably right. I laughed and shrugged. "I guess we will find out in a few months, right?"

"Edward, I don't want to know what the baby is until he or she I born." She said seriously and I felt another nudge under my palm.

"Are you sure?" I questioned and pulled her into my arms so that I could hold her. "Because you are a really big planner and you want to be prepared and have the right color things, right?"

She giggled and shook her head. "I want to be surprised about it. I like the mystery of it."

I love her. "OK, if that's what you want."

She nodded and wrapped her hands over the top part of her belly between us. "It is."

"I love you." I smiled and kissed her as I pushed her back against the wall. She hummed and wrapped her arms around my neck.

Smiling around her mouth I bent down and scooped her up into my arms and headed for the stairs. "Edward…we've had sex twice this morning."

"I like the number three…" I said and hurried down the hall to our room. "It's a good number."

She laughed and started kissing me before we even got to our room.

**A/N: I know it's really short but it is all I have for now. Leave me a review :)**

**Also, check out my new one shot "Naughty Professor Cullen"**

**Thanks a bunches :)**

***KRay***


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